The alarm rings Monday morning and it is still dark outside. She begins to slide her feet onto the floor and hears from the others side of the bed, “I don’t have time for our walk this morning.” After a brief silence she continues to rise, clearly getting ready for the morning discipline and responds, “Neither do I.” Her husband understands and states, “I’ll get my shoes.”

If you have taken a Stephen Covey training you may remember that illustration. It’s simple yet powerful message has brought me back time and again to focus my life’s activities on what really matters to me.

Making the important things important helps to keep the “tyranny of the urgent” at bay. Instead of the trivial and nonstrategic robbing our energy and time, we are able to stay focused on what truly matters when we calendar and focus our time on the important. This is a vital skill to living productively. Jesus illustrates this in Bethany as a sinful woman anoints his feet. The story, recounted in all four gospels, raises the importance of Jesus’ looming death and burial. His sacrifice was the fulfillment of his purpose and no scrupulous judgment by those in attendance would deter him from his ultimate goal. While caring for the poor is important, it did not supersede the greater work of the resurrection and freedom from sin for all who have faith in Jesus.

I routinely order my weekly tasks by importance. This includes work, family, and the personal things that make up my life. I put the most essential things on my calendar first. For you it may be the morning walk with your partner where you care for that relationship while also investing in personal health. It doesn’t matter what it is, just that it is what is most important.

Invest the time to decide what is most important to you for you person, in your most significant relationships and in your work. This deliberation is best done in prayer. In a conversation with God, invite divine wisdom in identifying that which is most vital to you in the three areas. Next, choose two things in each category to be your focus this week. Then plan your week making sure your top six things are scheduled first. Let everything else find its way on to your calendar after those essential things. At the end of the week evaluate how things turned out and then do it all again. Over time you will find that the same things will find their way to the top and your daily living will have greater purpose and focus. The tyranny of the urgent will have less of a strangle hold.

I endeavor to spend no more than two nights per week at work and I absolutely will not spend more than three. This rule makes Holy Week tough to schedule, but my commitment to my wife is above my commitment to work – even ministry. For if my marriage is not healthy, then I am a much less effective pastor and person. Harmony and investment at home provides the platform from which I am able minister to others. Without it I am distracted, easily irritated and carry the anxiety from the hurting relationship into every interaction.

Find what is most important to you and don’t let the pressing matters of the day or the good things that could be done, which there are more than you can count, rob of you doing what is essential. You will accomplish more when you ruthlessly focus on less.

This blog prompt came to my inbox and it just didn’t sit right. I react most negatively when someone tells me what they assume I don’t know. Maybe you are something like me, but hang with me for a moment because I do think there is something most people don’t know.

Coaching is not consulting. There is a difference in what each brings to the table. A consultant is an expert who brings their experience and knowledge to bear on a specific situation. Coaching, on the other hand, is a person whose skills help unlock the potential with the person or organization being coached. It is the give a person a fish or teach a person to fish scenario.

What I think most people don’t know is that the solution, or way forward for them as a leader is already within them. The job of the coach is to ask penetrating questions to help a person or organization to discover the answers that God is providing to them through the Holy Spirit. Coaches might skill build or provide information, but the goal is to grow the person or organization in their capacity to problem solve and discern strategies that accomplish the vision for ministry.

We all need a little help from time to time unlocking our God breathed potential. There are all kinds of sabotage that present. Self doubt, past failures, pressure of urgent problems that are not strategic, fatigue and a host of others. You are probably thinking of one that plagues you or your organization. These roadblocks can seem insurmountable in the moment. They combine to keep us from listening to God and recognizing our unique giftedness.

You are in your current role at this time for a reason. God has not set you up to fail, but to prosper. Everything you need to succeed as a leader and as a church is already present. The role of the coach is to help you to recognize your assets, opportunities, and roadblocks and then develop strategies that take what you have and do what God is calling you to do for the Kingdom.

You know more and are capable of more than you think. The way forward is within reach and with a little help from an experienced guide you will dismantle roadblocks and discover the joy of serving from a place a tremendous, unrealized capacity.

One of my favorite phrases to start a dreaming conversation is “What would it be like…”. It invites input and allows for the development of an idea without judgement.

I use this phrase in all areas of my life. It works wonders in hashing out conflict in the home. It allows me to open topics with my adult children without triggering “I’m not a child.”. It invites the critic in church leadership to consider multiple possibilities for a new idea. It unlocks potential from a self doubting pastor.

Recently, I asked myself what it would be like to tell other church leaders about my leadership style and the principles I have learned in my varied experiences. My first response was fear that no one would be interested or worse, that my ideas would be rejected. What if I am asked questions for which I don’t have answers. Fear. Thankfully scripture is clear that we are not to fear.

I considered again, what would it be like? Sure, there could be rejection, but there are also other alternatives. It could go well. I could help people avoid mistakes I have made. Maybe some would come to new understandings and expand their thinking about the mission of the church. Perhaps even some might see their own giftedness and begin to muse “What would it be like?”

My first teaching/training in a long time took place last weekend. It went better than I hoped. The information shared was received well. I was able to thoughtfully and quickly answer questions and engage the group in productive conversation. To my surprise, the presentation slides most captured by participants’ cameras were my words, my ideas. These were new thoughts to those in attendance or at least ideas worth remembering. It is humbling to be received in this way. Maybe I do have something to say.

I am not sure why I was fearful. Self doubt is a tool used by the darkness to squash what God may be trying to do through us. I fell victim. But I am thankful for my colleagues and friends who have been encouraging me over the years to share my world view, leadership strategies and entrepreneurial spirit. Thank you, friends.

Now I am pushing beyond my fear and asking again “What would it be like…to start a coaching business?” Will anyone care? What if I fail to land a single client? Or, maybe my encouragers are right. Perhaps this recent workshop is going to be the norm.

I enjoy helping leaders and the church. It continues to be part of my calling. If God has given me these skills, inclinations, tools, thought patterns and experiences it would be poor stewardship to not share them for Kingdom work.

What will it be like? I can’t wait to find out!